Music Videos With Running In Them #2: Rozi Plain – ‘Jogalong’
Theme: A confused young lady attempts to recall some conversations about stuff that she’s had over the years. Baffled, she finds salvation and pleasure in the noble pursuit of running around some football pitches and standing up against a wall.
Reality check: The fashionable leggings suggest the need to go for a jog took Rozi Plain unawares. Nice to see an actual race used in a video. Pretty sure it’s the Run Hackney Half.
Can you run to the song: Er no, but you could very happily jog along to it.
On your marks: 8/10
Notes: There is so much very much to love about this tune – the retro synths, the dreamy vocals, the obtuse lyrics, it is just lovely. Also – any music video featuring pylons is a winner in my book. Location is again Hackney Marshes.
Fair play though, anything can happen…
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The Benfleet 15 in Essex is one of those races that I always mean to do. I entered a couple of years ago when I was marathon training only to have to pull out a few days before the race because of calf niggles. This video shot at 25th anniversary of this 15 miler last weekend has definitely made me want to put it in my diary for next year. The course is a really hilly one – using part of the mountain biking track that was used during London 2012 – and muddy too, but it looks properly heroic.
Slow race times can be depressing especially if you’re carrying a bit of timber and in advancing years. Fortunately the boffins at the University of Dayton have come to the rescue with the amazing Weight-Age Grading Calculator. Click here to enter your details. Tap in your recent race time, age and weight at the time of the race and it calculates what your time would have been if you were 25 and at the perfect weight. Hey presto my depressing 4hr 40min marathon time is magically transformed to 3hr 58min – which is more or less what I was aiming at. Woop-woop!
The handicap is based on the documented decline in aerobic function, specifically distance run speed, due to increasing age and fat-free mass.
Sadly I don’t think it works in reverse and tells young disgusting athletic types what their time would be if they were old and tubby.
Here’s Hugh “Fack Fack Fack” Grant. Is that a shirt and tie he’s got on under that fleece?
Music Videos With Running In Them #1: The Temper Trap – ‘Love Lost’
Theme: The cruel torture of making schoolchildren do cross country running.
Reality check: The mud splashes on their shirts and faces are too styled – giving the impression that the dastardly PE teacher conducted some kind of mud splattering ritual before barking out his instructions.
Can you run to the song: Er no, unless you’re going very very slowly. Or in slow motion. I doubt they’d make it back to the farm in 30 minutes.
On your marks: 6/10
Notes: Location is around Hackney Marshes along the bleak banks of the River Lee Navigation. If you want to run somewhere flat and interesting in North East London I’d recommend it.
This is QWOP and it is quite possibly the hardest and most frustrating running video game ever. If real running was like this NOBODY would go running. Have a go here and see if you can beat my personal best of 2.5 metres.
“Don’t jog so close to me.”
In the 80s Sting and Frank Bruno enjoyed a quick one on Hampstead Heath. Wonder what they talked about?